


Becoming

by voidsavitar



Category: The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: Character Study, Emotional Hurt, F/M, How Barry Allen became Savitar, Implied/Referenced Character Death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-22
Updated: 2021-02-22
Packaged: 2021-03-12 11:42:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 787
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29634132
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/voidsavitar/pseuds/voidsavitar
Summary: What does it take for a person to abandon all their morals?A small glimpse into defining moments that twisted Barry Allen into something unrecognisable.
Relationships: Barry Allen/Iris West, Savitar/Iris West
Comments: 1
Kudos: 7





	Becoming

I.

From the moment he had been ripped out of his own timeline to aid Barry Allen (̶t̶h̶e̶ ̶o̶r̶i̶g̶i̶n̶a̶l̶)̶ in stopping Savitar once and for all, all he had known was pain. 

He had fought, he had bled, he had been broken and left to die. He had watched all of his other selves die right in front of his eyes. Savitar had been defeated but at what cost? 

Iris was still dead. The damage had already been done and while the d̶e̶m̶o̶n̶ speedster couldn't torment any of them anymore, he had already taken everything from them. 

Left to die, bleeding out in an alleyway, no one had come to look for Barry Allen (̶t̶h̶e̶ ̶d̶i̶s̶p̶o̶s̶a̶b̶l̶e̶ ̶o̶n̶e̶)̶. They had left him to his own devices, had thought he had died along with his other duplicates. After all, that had been his sole purpose.

They had left him to pick up his own pieces. 

When he had found his own way back to S.T.A.R. labs, he was met with sour looks. He wasn't 𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒊𝒓 Barry and he would never be. 

They had told him to go. 

So he had.

They hadn't spared him a second glance, too concerned with the 𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒍 Barry, the one who was shutting them out. 

II. 

Burning. 

The world was burning. 

His face was burning. 

The stench of burning flesh filled his nostrils as he felt the skin melt off his face. 

He had stopped screaming a while ago, sure that his vocal chords were completely shredded, rendered useless. He had been screaming bloody murder the second they had shut him away in the Speed Force. 

She hadn't taken too kindly on him, appearing as h̶i̶s̶ Barry's mother. And then, the burning had started. Lightning had struck, leaving him crumpled on the floor, twitching, his body no longer under his control.

It charged around him as h̶i̶s̶ Barry's mother watched him with empty eyes and he writhed on the floor, not sure where the pain stopped and he began.

III. 

Savitar craved contact like a dying man at sea craved water. Yet every touch burned him to his very core; burned past skin and bone, the parts he was too ashamed of to show, right into his soul (̶h̶e̶ ̶h̶a̶d̶ ̶n̶e̶v̶e̶r̶ ̶b̶e̶e̶n̶ ̶a̶b̶l̶e̶ ̶t̶o̶ ̶g̶e̶t̶ ̶r̶i̶d̶ ̶o̶f̶ ̶B̶a̶r̶r̶y̶ ̶A̶l̶l̶e̶n̶)̶, making him recoil. 

He was starved.

A cruel punishment. 

He was sure the Speed Force and Barry were laughing down on him from their elevated positions where they had become his Gods. Not those he worshipped but those he feared. 

IV. 

He was plagued by nightmares. 

Sometimes they were about his time in the Speed Force. 

Sometimes they were about killing Iris. 

Most times, he watched himself kill Iris, always too slow, never fast enough. 

V.

He wanted Barry to suffer, just how he had suffered (̶w̶a̶s̶ ̶s̶t̶i̶l̶l̶ ̶s̶u̶f̶f̶e̶r̶i̶n̶g̶)̶. He wanted to rip everything from Barry, peel back all of the layers that made him Barry and lay his soul bare for the world to see. 

Barry was no hero. 

Barry was a twisted version of himself who had put on a convincing act of being the perfect golden boy. Strip him of all the layers of denial he had put on over the years and the world would realise that he was just as rotten as Savitar. 

VI.

Savitar had lived in fear for too long; had lived in pain for too long. 

He had feared becoming the twisted version that he had seen the night Iris had been killed. 

What he had never realised was that the fault had never lied with him. Barry Allen was the root of all his problems. Barry Allen was the one who had made him. Barry Allen was the God laughing down on him, mocking him for his failed attempts at simply 𝒃𝒆𝒊𝒏𝒈.

Savitar had been doomed from the start. From the moment he had been ripped from his timeline, he had never stood a chance against Barry Allen because in his world, there was no space for a second, a cheap copy. 

So, Savitar had to become more than that. He had to overcome the pain, the loss, the loneliness and he had to become something that was worthy of having a place in this universe. 

If he and Barry Allen could not exist together, then one of them had to die. And Savitar had gone through enough suffering to last him for all of eternity. 

He would become the God that laughed down on Barry Allen and mold him in his own image. Because if the both of them could not exist together, then Savitar would break and put him together until he no longer resembled Barry Allen.


End file.
